


Decoherence

by r2q5



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Autistic Kylo Ren, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 09:40:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13901340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/r2q5/pseuds/r2q5
Summary: Kylo feels too much.





	Decoherence

In the weeks following Crait and the rise of Kylo Ren as their new Supreme Leader, the man had proven himself a better leader than Hux had dared hope.   
  
Hux was an expert in preparing for the worst, and being strangled over Snoke's corpse hadn't filled him with a positive outlook on the days ahead. But Kylo had calmed down considerably since the incident on Crait. Although he had little patience for administrative affairs, as Hux expected, he delegated tasks smartly and let Hux do his job with little interference. There had been no outbursts or damaged equipment, no strangled officers. Kylo kept to himself, mostly, alone in his rooms.   
  
A bare minimum standard, perhaps. Snoke had kept out of administrative affairs as well, preferring to deal out instructions to Hux so he could busy himself with mysterious _matters of the force_ instead. It could have certainly been worse.   
  
He wondered if Ren's newfound demeanor had to do with Snoke's demise, somehow. Had his old master's training caused something in him to break, triggering the need to lash out, like an overworked machine snapping through its bearings?   
  
No matter.

Whatever had changed, it was clearly for the better.   
  
One of the few times the new Supreme Leader ventured outside his rooms was to attend command meetings, which was still a step up from Snoke. It seemed opposite his character, and had surprised Hux. Kylo would show up unannounced and loom silently in the background, observing the proceedings without comment. It had intimidated the crew at first, but they had soon gotten used to his incorrigible presence, their fear turning to respect. Perhaps Kylo was trying to better his image to his men.   
  
Today was just such a day.   
  
The air in the conference room was tense, the meeting having stretched on far longer than it should have. Many of high command were present, deliberating over the use of resources to repair the Supremacy and whether or not it could be more effectively used elsewhere. Kylo had not offered his input, simply looming against the wall as he always did.   
  
A fight had broken out, something not uncommon in the past weeks but wholly unwelcome all the same. Voices rising, Hux's headache and mood worsening. One of the officers stood up from his seat in anger.   
  
"The Supremacy is a vital component of the fleet, repairing it will take years at that rate-"   
  
"Then so be it!" One of the other generals roared, slamming his datapad on the table.   
  
Other officers began to interject, raising their voices louder and louder, speaking on top of each other.   
  
Hux had almost forgotten about Kylo's presence until the man started to scream.   
  
His lightsaber came down, splitting the table in between the two officers with a flurry of sparks. Everyone jumped back quickly, scrambling out of their chairs to get away, everyone except Hux.   
  
"MEETING DISMISSED!" Kylo roared, storming out, leaving the officers shocked and frozen.   
  
Hux took a deep breath. The outburst was to be expected _eventually_ , he reminded himself. This was Kylo, after all. And it was just a table. Hux remembered the days of entire rooms being destroyed.

Hux looked around, taking in the dumbstruck expression on the officers' faces, looking at him for guidance.  
  
"Well. You heard him. Meeting dismissed," he said, annoyed, still not standing up.

The officers all but ran out of the room.

Hux stayed in the room, glaring at the table, the melted durasteel still glowing an angry red. He had thought Kylo was getting better at managing his emotions, but he clearly had a _long_ way to go. If this was the way he reacted to any tense situation, they were doomed.

He sighed and pulled his datapad out of his pocket, calling for a janitor droid to haul the pieces of the broken table away. With that done, he stood up, preparing to head back to his quarters and have a very large glass of wine.

As soon as he exited into the hallway, he heard a large crash and scraping from a nearby conference room.

_Ren._

The manchild had not been satisfied hacking his table in half, apparently, he had to go wreck _another_ conference room when they were on a dangerously scarce budget.

Hux saw red. Consequences be damned, he was going to _stop him._

He stomped over to the door where the noises were coming from and tried to open it. _Locked._ Of fucking course. He punched in the override code on the console, and the door struggled to slide open, blocked by something.

The room was dark, but through the light in the hallway, Hux could tell a similar table had been pushed up against the door, forming an ineffective barricade. That must have been what the crashing noises were.

Not one to be deterred, Hux grunted and pushed on the table, sliding it forward enough that he could slip between it and the wall, shimmying around so he could enter the room. It was awkward and uncomfortable, but he was making progress.

The door behind him closed automatically and he was reminded that the room was nearly pitch-black. This was odd, he had expected to at least see the red glow of Kylo's lightsaber. It was strangely quiet as well, he realized as he slipped out from between the table and the wall and into the expanse of the conference room.

He was nervous, suddenly, his anger cooling off as he realized what an impulsive decision he had made.

Was Kylo hiding? Was Kylo in here at all, or had something else toppled that table? 

He felt for his blaster, but his vision adjusted and he saw only the shape of Kylo, curled up on the floor. His back was facing Hux, curled in the fetal position, hands over his head and ducked to his chest. Hux felt a strange combination of relief and discomfort, seeing him in such a vulnerable position.  
  
"Supreme Leader. Are you injured? Ill?" Hux asked, stepping forward.   
  
As he came closer, he heard it. Choked sobbing.   
  
Hux froze, his heartbeat spiking.   
  
He felt then, suddenly, surely, that he was about to die. Kylo would kill him for forcing entry and seeing him in such a state.   
  
With Kylo's force powers, and all the noise he had made moving the table, there was no way he hadn't noticed his presence. And yet, Kylo hadn't reacted or moved at all.

Hux had the urge to sprint out of the room, but he knew that would only make things much, much worse. If he navigated this correctly, he could survive, and perhaps even earn the Supreme Leader’s trust.  
  
So he stepped closer, carefully, kneeling down.

Kylo’s shoulders were shaking and his lips were moving, silently mouthing words.

“Ren. Are you alright?” he asked.

No response.

 _Of course he wasn't alright. He's in a ball on the floor crying,_ Hux chastised himself. Comfort was obviously not a skill he had developed, nor one he had ever expected to need.

Hux started to sweat. This was truly a dangerous situation, and he cursed himself for entering it in the first place.

Was it a possibility that Kylo somehow hadn’t noticed him yet? Hux glanced at the entrance, reconsidering his escape plan.

Only to watch the table slam back against the door, trapping him in place.

Another chilling reminder that the emotionally volatile man sobbing on the floor could kill Hux without so much as moving a muscle.

That answered the question however, Kylo did know he was here. And wanted him to stay?

Talking to him hadn’t worked. Leaving and pretending he hadn't seen anything was no longer an option. Calling for help was definitely out.

Kylo was still curled up in the same position, hands over his ears and head and seemingly attempting to block out as much stimulus as possible. His cape was pulled tight across his body like a cocoon.

Hux considered this, then slowly rose up enough to take off his greatcoat.

Slowly, carefully, as if he were attempting to not startle a sleeping beast, he laid the coat over Kylo's body, covering his curled-up body completely, head included.

A deep breath.

And Kylo pulled the greatcoat even further in, curling around it, burying himself in it. His body seemed to relax the slightest bit.

Hux was relieved his idea had worked, that Kylo had accepted his offering. Was that all he should do? The exit was still blocked off, and he wouldn't be able to move the table without making a lot of noise, which he suspected would upset Kylo even more.

For now, he simply sat against the wall and waited, watching the lump under his coat rise and fall with each breath.

A few minutes passed before Hux heard an almost-silent whine from the lump that sounded like _“why are you here.”_

Hux considered this. There was no point in lying.

“I heard the table and thought you were destroying something,” he replied in a similarly quiet tone.

Kylo huffed.

“Are you in pain? Do you need to go to the medbay?” Hux whispered.

Kylo made noise somewhere in-between a moan and growl, and slapped the floor with his hand half-heartedly. That seemed like a no.

He paused, then continued to try for several moments to speak, only producing pained noises and gurgles mixed with cries.

“Take your time,” Hux muttered, as sincerely as he could.

Kylo took a few deep breaths, and finally seemed to find his voice, watery and small as if was.

“Do you have any idea. What's it's like… to feel the emotions of _every single living thing on this fucking starship.”_

Hux didn't.

But the unspoken statement was left in the air.

_You weren't like this before._

“I don't _know why!”_ Kylo wailed, his voice cracking on the last word. “When I- when Snoke died, after, I just- it felt like something became hollow in me,” he continued, voice shaking.

“I don’t feel the anger I had before to keep me focused. And I don't know why. Instead I feel everything. And it's too much, everything is too much,” Kylo cried. "I tried going to the meetings to see if I could get over it but I can't- I’m not… it's not working.”

Hux tilted his head.

“Is it possible Snoke was… feeding you this anger intentionally, somehow?”

Kylo made an _“I don't know”_ noise.

There was an awkward silence.

“Well, our repair budget is benefiting from it, at least,” Hux joked, and immediately wanted to punch himself in the face for making such an idiotic, insensitive comment, but Kylo just laid there, sniffling and rubbing his nose on Hux's greatcoat. Hux winced.

“This happened as a kid, too.”

_Oh no. Kylo was telling him about his childhood. Abort abort abort._

“I wanted to stay in my room, alone, without the light or the noise or the feelings. My mother and father thought it was... _“unhealthy”_ and dragged me out to crowds and meetings,” Kylo said, bitterly, adjusting in his makeshift clothing-nest. “Ben would cry and scream and worry them even more,” he added, monotone and wearly.

“Then I met- then I met Snoke and it was the first time I felt like I could function. The anger consumed everything, like a blanket, like blinders, smothering… I couldn't… I didn't. Nothing else mattered. I didn't see anything else.”

Kylo shook under the coat.

“And now he's gone and I can't- I don't know how to-” he took a shuddering breath. “It’s _too much,”_ he sobbed.

Was this where Hux was supposed to offer advice? That was certainly his instinct, his nature as a problem-solver rather than a nurturer. But there was nothing he could do, no advice he could give to Kylo to _stop feeling so much._

“What do you need,” Hux started, carefully. “Right now?”

Kylo was silent for a moment, then pulled at the side of the coat weakly.

Blankets? Hux glanced around, already knowing there would be nothing useful in the barren conference room.

Not really sure what he was doing or why, Hux crawled over to the coat-lump, positioned himself carefully, and laid down on top of Kylo.

Kylo made a strange sigh of relief, going lax under Hux’s weight.

This was bizarre in too many ways to count. Laying on top of his supreme leader to calm him down after an overstimulation of emotions from his magic mind reading powers was almost… too much.

But Hux had learned that when dealing with Kylo, _normal_ didn't apply, didn't come close to being able to encompass him.

And that was okay, he thought. Kylo and Hux would have never gotten this far if either one of them were average.

He let his head rest on Kylo's shoulder and felt his heartbeat even though the thick fabric.

They would learn to make do.

**Author's Note:**

> haven't written a oneshot in a while and wanted some autistic kylo fic. took some liberties but was intended to mirror a sensory meltdown.
> 
> lemme know what you think, here or on tumblr (R2Q5). thanks <3


End file.
